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stupid ana

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at least i'm consistent [14 Sep 2005|11:02am]
[ mood | exanimate ]

so i was bored and decided to re-read all 900 previous journal entries, and came to realize in one blinding and embarassing instant that i am, in many ways, reliving the same dysfunctional relationship i was in two years prior. granted, this one is by and far vastly superior in awfulness, but my feelings and reactions and excuses are the same. so yeah...about that.
gotta get on that.
how can anyone have such a hard time saying goodbye to shit?
only me. i am the only person in the world who can be stuck in break up limbo for weeks/months? on end. except for maybe this fool. we revel in it. i like hell!

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more where that came from [02 Feb 2004|09:36am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Just because I can’t stop thinking about it now…and am determined to try and understand why my luck with guys is so consistently bad…I have outlined some key points and come to some interesting conclusions. See below.

the only guys that ever seem to like me are as follows:
1.guys with girlfriends
4.guys I have no interest in whatsoever
5.dumb guys

so if I were to look at this from a psychological perspective, I would have to assume that these people are attracted to me because I am in some way similar. Therefore, I must:
1.have commitment issues
2.be weird
3.be a latent homosexual
4.not be interesting
5.be stupid

such is life.

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i love life [21 Jan 2004|10:55am]
Jeremy is gone. Okinawa. If there is any justice in this world, he will run into Michelle while he’s over there. Ha! Life is funny sometimes. He wants me to move with him to Illinois when he gets out…that kind of threw me. I have no intention of leaving California, especially not for something I’m as unsure of as I am. I know I don’t want to be anywhere near his dad, not after all that airline crap (thank God and Jon that got taken care of). I do miss him though. I find myself thinking about him a lot. I don’t know what to think or feel. I know I still love him, but how much? Is he really the person I see myself spending the rest of my life with? What about Megan, what happened to her? I don’t know…I have almost a whole year to figure it out though.
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bad juju [21 Apr 2003|03:25pm]
this trip is cursed. now bre and jill can't go either. so it's down to me, darrin, and jared #3. i think that i will just quietly accept my fate and stay home. the stars are obviously not shining down upon my trip to las vegas. **sniff**
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